So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
