Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
