i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
