I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
