Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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