So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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