so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
