my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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