her vagine was all disorganized.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize