I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
