Apparently you make a good broom.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
