He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize