I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
is that a dick in a sweater?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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