youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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