guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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