So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
