I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
