So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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