It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
