South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If I die, sorry about rent.
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