I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
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