Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
