In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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