Can i not drive my cunt home
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
