if only i could text you this smell
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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