how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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