never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
