I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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