Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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