She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i think my cat just said my name.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize