girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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