I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
