apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
