I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
