and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
