she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
