I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
