In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
