I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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