I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
