im about as happy as oj after his trial
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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