so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
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