mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
