I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
