is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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