Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Who wears a wallet chain?!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize