just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
