my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
