You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
