ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
