i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize