How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
