I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize