I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Those nachos came to me in a dream
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
