Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I love how my cats smell like pot.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
