She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
