Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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