So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize