And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
