I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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