i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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