Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
