he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
