Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
