I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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