as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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