me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
