Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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