GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
