I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she pinky promised me she was 18
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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