Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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