Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
