We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
