And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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