You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ketchup is God's man juice
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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