I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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